Failing vs Quitting

Power is found in personal responsibility

We don't fail.

We quit.

[paraphrase of a statement I heard from Jason Seib]

I heard this and it really struck me how much honesty it takes to stop saying that such and such circumstances prevented me from completing a plan or project.

It also struck me how much grit it takes to choose to own the empowering word "quit" because it makes us take conscious responsibility for our decisions.

Nothing has stopped me from making exercise a higher priority. I've chosen to quit the plan repeatedly if I got busy or when it got painful rather than adapting and doing what I could for the day.

If I say I failed or blame my circumstances for not sticking with it, I erode my power by giving it to externals.

If I say the truth, which is that I just plain didn't do the thing, I quit, I'm owning the power I have [and didn't use] to influence change in my health and my life.

Life used to have built-in discomfort, meaning if you didn't get your ass in gear, you didn't eat, and neither did your community.

There was no option to avoid the work of surviving.

Now, we have the option to spend our time avoiding the work of maintaining this physical vehicle. We can choose to go about ignoring its needs in favor of binge-watching Peaky Blinders or Top Chef or reading or sleeping.

Asking why do this, looking for explanation, is the mental equivalent of taking a glorious swan dive into the La Brea tar pits.

"I don't know why I won't exercise - stop eating sugar - put down the cell phone - stop smoking - start exercising - start going to sleep on time - etc."

The answer always is that we don't fucking wanna do those things because, for today anyway, the temporary suck of the present is acceptable. The cozy familiar outweighs the benefits we'd get from leading a dynamic life but which would require pain.

We avoid the pain of change while sitting in the pain we're in right now. We're in pain either way so why won't we choose the pain that at least gets us what we say we want?

Because.

One is familiar.

One is not.

It's that simple.

You may assume that constantly talking about the why is the way we stay in our Familiar Bad Feeling Place and avoid the discomfort of raising our Happiness Thresholds and you’d be correct.

You may also assume that if you could just figure out the why then you'd change your behavior, actions would be taken, and progress achieved. And in that you'd be incorrect.

We know why.

We don't wanna.

Period.

So, knowing the reasons behind our choice to quit doesn't change the action taking bit. It doesn't change jack or shit.

We still have to take the action.

We still have to stop contemplating all the reasons why we avoid acting on our own behalf because knowing WHY does not matter at all.

So, what to do?

Grab yourself by the scruff of the neck and do the damn thing whatever the damn thing is.

Or

Don't do the damn thing but respect yourself enough to say honestly that you did not fail, there were no circumstances preventing you from doing some part of the thing, you simply chose to quit.

Then you can experience the immense power of telling yourself the unvarnished truth and taking that level of responsibility for yourself.

XO,

LMW